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Marriage Debate LogoAmid news that gay marriage law is leading to the shutdown of church adoption services, a new gay sex curriculum in elementary schools, and same sex marriages in a few states, it’s time to bring back our exciting Marriage Debate.

We’ve all heard the question, “How does letting gays marry threaten heterosexuals?” The idea behind the question is that same-sex marriage has no real negative consequences.  So, let’s put the matter up to debate:

Q. How Exactly Does Gay Marriage Law Hurt Heterosexuals and Their Families?

Before weighing in with your comments, consider our suggestions below and then have at it. To ensure your comments are posted, keep it clean and focused on the arguments pro or con. (There may be a brief delay while comments are being reviewed and approved.)

MarriageNewsNow! Top Ten Ways Gay Marriage Law Hurts Heterosexuals and their Families

  1. Same-sex marriage law would not stipulate (or even insinuate) that adult partners are agreeing to raise children together; therefore, the all-inclusive same-sex marriage contract leaves heterosexual women and children without essential legal and economic protection against penalty-free spousal abandonment.
  2. Same-sex marriage law would not stipulate that adult partners must stay together for any duration of time; therefore, the all-inclusive same-sex marriage contract places heterosexual spouses and children at grave risk of economic destitution through penalty-free spousal abandonment.
  3. Same-sex marriage law would not severely penalize a spouse who exits the contract; therefore, the all-inclusive same-sex marriage contract offers no legal recourse for the faithful spouse or the children now struggling to survive without the committed help of the departing spouse.
  4. Same sex marriage law would create injustice in adoption services, for gay-couple adoptions institutionalize gender discrimination against one sex and deprive children of the normative right to both a mother and a father as provided in nature.
  5. Same sex marriage law would legally and logically open the door to polygamy, polyamory, polyandry, or to any group of cohabiting individuals that requests “marriage” status and benefits.
  6. Same sex marriage law would be fundamentally unequal, unfair, and unjust, for homosexuals would receive from the state equal benefits as heterosexuals without providing to the state an equal number of new citizens and related caregiving services.
  7. Same sex marriage law leads to gay sex indoctrination of  young children in taxpayer funded public schools.
  8. Same sex marriage law marginalizes and stigmatizes religious groups, and removes the right of religious charities to deliver the services required by their faith communities.
  9. Same sex marriage law would permit self-interested spouses to quit the contract for any reason, potentially causing grave economic harm to responsible faithful spouses.
  10. Same sex marriage law would redefine gay cohabitation as “marriage,” thus destroying the child-oriented, family distinction and culture of marriage which takes great effort to maintain.

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Heroes of feminism

Imagine a world in which Carrie Prejean is hailed, marriage is properly defined and defended in law, and people treat one another with basic decency and respect.  Now look at the liberal world that smears, attacks, and bullies good people and time-tested life principles. In that hellish world, liberals let loose attack lawyers and media thugs to materially destroy anyone who defends humanity’s greatest institutions, traditions, and people. Culture war is real war.

But Carrie Prejean is a warrior, and liberals fear her for a reason. When people like Prejean stand up and speak out, liberalism crumbles. It is for this reason that liberals plot daily to destroy America’s heroic conservatives by any means necessary. It’s a well funded, multi-billion dollar effort.

Yet here’s reality: so long as good people and organizations rally behind the Prejeans of our society, an entire army of anti-American thugs can’t harm her. There is strength in numbers, in coalitions, and in social networks—these provide an impenetrable shield.

So stand up for Carrie and all those like her who speak out for what’s right. United we stand!

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Bachelorette Jillian - ABC Press Photo

Bachelorette Jillian - ABC Press Photo

She may have felt like “a hillbilly” while hanging out with all those aristocratic bachelor families this week, but ABC Bachelorette Jillian Harris proved her inner cultivation by welcoming back Ed from Chicago.

In a previous episode, bachelor Ed made an untimely exit from the show at the urging of his computer systems boss, who apparently couldn’t offer his star employee six weeks of “reality leave” in a troubled economy.

Ed’s surprise reappearance this week was an attempt to re-prioritize life, the Michigan native ultimately choosing a 1-in-4 chance at engagement over continued viability in his IT career.


But Ed was not the only ghost to resurface from episodes past: nice guy Jake (left of Ed) made a bold decision to come back on the show just to out the country-pickin’ Wes and his supposed girlfriend back home. The drama exposed a weakness in Jillian’s otherwise flawless judgment when the Canadian adventurer—gasp!—kept Wes for another week and showed even-keeled wine maker Jesse the door.

And with that somewhat shaky performance Jillian Harris has whittled down her pack of beaus to four (the lovable goofball Michael being too young and silly to contend seriously against the likes of Kiptyn, Ed, and even Reid).

Will this season’s Bachelorette identify a true man fit for traditional marriage? Will her focus on children and family guide her safely away from that two-timin’ guitar-strummin’ Wes? Will Jon & Kate tune in to learn what marriage is all about? Is Kiptyn still a front-runner now that Ed has traded in a Chicago career for a chance at a Canadian queen? Let us know what you think.

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In a recent USA Today interview, marriage author and relationships expert Maggie Scarf claims that the marital experience improves with age, but there is a U-shaped curve to its trajectory over the course of a lifetime.

Scarf, a long-time marriage researcher and longer-time wife of Yale Professor Herb Scarf (the couple has been married 55 years), debunks the idea that marriage is a cloud of bliss, and instead argues that the true experience of most marriages has a basic pattern comprised of three stages: high early contentment and expectations, discovery of spousal flaws and focus on raising children, and the rekindling and rediscovery of couple relationship as the nest empties. Her in-depth analysis of the marriage pattern is detailed in the book, September Songs: The Good News About Marriage in the Later Years.

Interestingly, according to Scarf, long-time couples consistently exhibit well-being, contentment, and closeness. Experienced couples who make the long journey of commitment do not necessarily resolve major disagreements uncovered early on in the marriage, but they lower the intensity of the conflicts and learn to say, “Let’s not have this conversation.”  Scarf asserts that forgiveness is a key ingredient of long-term success, especially in cases where an infidelity has threatened the unity of the family. Through forgiveness and reconciliation, people can recover from infidelity, and even find new passion.

Scarf’s research adds to the mountain of studies which prove that permanent marriage is a powerful societal good, positively benefiting the finances, education, character development, and future opportunity for all members of the family. Although the news probably doesn’t come as a surprise to seasoned couples, young couples should heed Scarf’s research about typical marriage patterns. Setting realistic expectations for the marriage experience is key to overcoming the shortsighted “grass is greener” impulse that leads only to serial marriages, financial difficulties, devastated children, and permanent frustration.

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